“Welcome aboard Southwest Flight
XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the
buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if
you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in
public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure,
oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the
mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling
with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are
traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."
“Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but
they’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and
remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest
Airlines.”
“As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your
belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the
flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”
“Last one off the plane must clean it.”
“Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to
switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but
please stay inside the plane till we land … it’s a bit cold outside, and
if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern.”