I've found some funny quotes on internet, here they are :
Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower: Yes what?? Pilot: Yes, SIR!
Pilot: Tower, please call me a fuel truck.
Tower: Roger. You are a fuel truck.
Pilot:: Tower, give me a rough time check
Tower: It’s Thursday, Sir.
Tower: Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago ?
Pilot: Negativ, Sir. It’s only the same pilot.
Pilot: Tower, there’s a runway light burning.
Tower: I m sure there must be dozens of lights burning.
Pilot: Sorry, I mean it’s smoking.
Tower: Lufthansa 893, you are number one, check for workers on the taxiway.
Pilot: Roger ….. We’ve checked, they are all working.
Tower: Cannot read you, say again!
Pilot: Again!
Tower: What’s your heigth and position?
Pilot: Well, I m 6 foot tall and I m sitting front left.
Tower: Mission triple-three, do you have problems?
Pilot: I think, I have lost my compass.
Tower: Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel.
Tower Controller: “BA356, proceed to stand 69″
BA: “Yes, Sir, Nose in or Nose out?”
United cargo jet (with female pilot): “This is my secondary radio. Is my transmission still fuzzy?
Oakland ARTCC controller: “I don’t know. I’ve never seen it.” (Earned him two weeks on the beach)”
Pilot (after a long time in a holding pattern): Tower, could we get an EFC? (Translation: how much longer?)
Tower: Indefinite.
Pilot: I’m pretty sure we don’t have fuel for that.
Pilot: O’Hare Tower, Bonanza X, request landing. I can land on any runway and hold short of any other runway.
Tower (with an over-full load): Roger, we request you land at Chicago Executive and hold short of O’Hare.
Tower: Airliner X, it looks like you have a baggage door open.
Airliner: Thank you for the report, but that must be our APU door that’s open for cooling.
Tower: Airliner X, you have luggage falling out of your APU door.
Lost Student Pilot: Tower, Cessna X, Requesting help determining my location, I’m lost.
Tower: Can you fly over any identifiable man made objects like a highway or water tower?
Pilot: Affirmative, I just flew by a water tower, but all it said was “Class of ’09.”
Denver Tower: Gulfstream X, You’re cleared to 9,000 feet. For a vector to Hector, contact the sector director.
Tower: Airliner 757 vectored 310 at 145 knots behind traffic.
Pilot: Roger that, 310 at 145 to clean out the stall horn.
Approach: Airliner Heavy, report your airspeed for spacing.
Pilot: Approach, we’re really hauling ass.
Approach: Airliner Heavy, I couldn’t care less about your cargo, I need to know your airspeed.
Kids on a tour of the Tower: Have you ever had a real emergency?
Controller: There was that one time when we ran out of coffee.
Controller: Flight XYZ, can you climb to FL390?
XYZ: Standby (A few seconds pass)
XYZ: We can make it, but we’ll have to throw out a few passengers
Controller: That’s approved.
Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower: Yes what?? Pilot: Yes, SIR!
Pilot: Tower, please call me a fuel truck.
Tower: Roger. You are a fuel truck.
Pilot:: Tower, give me a rough time check
Tower: It’s Thursday, Sir.
Tower: Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago ?
Pilot: Negativ, Sir. It’s only the same pilot.
Pilot: Tower, there’s a runway light burning.
Tower: I m sure there must be dozens of lights burning.
Pilot: Sorry, I mean it’s smoking.
Tower: Lufthansa 893, you are number one, check for workers on the taxiway.
Pilot: Roger ….. We’ve checked, they are all working.
Tower: Cannot read you, say again!
Pilot: Again!
Tower: What’s your heigth and position?
Pilot: Well, I m 6 foot tall and I m sitting front left.
Tower: Mission triple-three, do you have problems?
Pilot: I think, I have lost my compass.
Tower: Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel.
I don't understand each of them, but I'm sure some of you will ;)